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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22527109">Positive Thoughts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura'>misura</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Half Bad Trilogy - Sally Green</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, No Plot/Plotless, POV First Person, Pastiche, Romantic Fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 12:00:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,182</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22527109</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nathan lists all the things he loves about Gabriel.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gabriel Boutin/Nathan Byrn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Positive Thoughts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Time to think positive!</p>
<p>For starters, there's <b>Gabriel</b>. There's also <b>Gabriel</b>. And <b>Gabriel</b>. And, I suppose, if I really stretch my imagination, <b>Gabriel</b> is something positive, too. Plus, of course, I can't forget <b>Gabriel</b>.</p>
<p>All right, so that's getting a bit monotonous. And I'm sure that if I actually tried, I could find a lot more positive things about my life right now than just Gabriel, but why bother?</p>
<p>I mean, what's wrong with being happy? Even if I guess I could be more specific.</p>
<p>I love Gabriel's <b>eyes</b>. I could look at them forever. Though if I'm going to be methodical about this, I guess I should start with his <b>hair</b>. It's long-ish and soft and I like to touch it, run my fingers through it. I also like his <b>cheeks</b>. His <b>ears</b>. </p>
<p>(Am I just going to list all his body parts? Do I have any strong feelings on Gabriel's skull, for example, other than no desire whatsoever to get to see it, unless it's safely covered by his skin? That seems a bit much. Then again, I do love Gabriel very much, more than I thought I would ever love another person again after - but no, I'm not even going to think <i>that</i> name. Only positive thoughts allowed!)</p>
<p>I love Gabriel's <b>brains</b>. Not the actual grey stuff, I guess, but his quick thinking. His cleverness, and his ability to stay alive even when I'm worried, so worried that he's been caught and killed, or captured and imprisoned, tortured without there being anything I can do about it, because I don't even know where he is.</p>
<p>(Whoops. So much for positivity! Still, it never happened. I turned out to have worried for nothing. <i>That's</i> positive, right?)</p>
<p>I love Gabriel's <b>mouth</b>. His lips are soft and perfect. I love his smile, which is convenient, given that Gabriel is nearly always smiling. I love kissing him and having him kiss me. I know I started out just liking it, just enjoying knowing there was another person who cared about me, but it's a lot more than that now, and I'm glad. I know Gabriel will never betray me. I know Gabriel will never lie to me, even if he might sometimes not tell me everything right away.</p>
<p>That's all right, though. I waited a long time to tell Gabriel some things, too, and they were important things, huge, life-changing things, even if I know Gabriel would have stayed with me forever even if I'd never said them, never said 'I love you'. (But I did, and I do, and it's wonderful.)</p>
<p>I love Gabriel's <b>neck</b>. There's a spot I kiss and it always gets him to say my name that makes him sound like he's desperate for me to do it again and again, except that he's also desperate for me to do other things, to put my mouth on other parts of his body. </p>
<p>It always presents me with a bit of a dilemma - what do I do next? The nice, the positive thing though is: there are no wrong answers. Whatever I do, it won't stop Gabriel loving me - and I'm not just talking about continuing to kiss his neck or moving on down to his <b>chest</b>. Sorry, shoulders! I don't want this to take forever, even if now I wonder when's the right time for his <b>hands</b>?</p>
<p>I love sleeping with Gabriel. I love falling asleep while listening to the beat of his heart. I love that Gabriel is kind and good at talking to people and fitting in. Those are all things I'm not, but I don't care. I'm certainly not jealous, or wishing I were more like Gabriel.</p>
<p>I'm just happy he's with me. That, out of all people he could have picked to give his heart to (metaphorically!), he chose me. I'm not always sure that I deserve someone as good as Gabriel, but I know that plenty of people don't deserve to live, and yet they do, so I suppose the world isn't fair, and I should be glad that's worked in my favor for once, too.</p>
<p>Plenty of people want Gabriel to be their boyfriend. He's always nice about turning them down, unless they get pushy. Even then, he's a lot nicer than I'd be about it.</p>
<p>Not that anyone other than Gabriel has ever told me they want to be my boyfriend.</p>
<p>I love Gabriel's <b>hands</b> (I think now is the right moment to bring them up). I love feeling them on my body, touching me all over, knowing exactly where to go to drive me insane - in a good way. I love interlacing our fingers while we kiss, our bodies pressed so close together that I feel Gabriel everywhere, that I don't even want to move, to risk losing this closeness. (Eventually, one of us always does, of course.)</p>
<p>Gabriel's hands are good for other things, too. He's good at cooking and at shooting. He has lovely hand writing, even if I know the two of us will never have tins of love letters to give to our children, like his parents did. Then again, given that we're both guys, it seems unlikely we'll have any kids anyway.</p>
<p>Still, if I'd been able to read, I'd have wanted Gabriel to write me love letters. I'd have carried them with me everywhere, like a talisman. I'd have written some for him, too, but mine wouldn't have been as good. I'm not a poetry kind of guy. I'd rather tell Gabriel how I feel by kissing him, and holding him, and you can't put kisses or embraces down on a piece of paper.</p>
<p>I love Gabriel's <b>stomach</b>. Specifically, I love pretty much all the types of food he loves. Everything tastes good when Gabriel feeds it to me, and he seems to enjoy feeding me all kinds of stuff - when there's a chance. In the wilderness, we make do. He doesn't complain, then, or wistfully talk about fresh croissants and coffee. Not because he knows doing so would be pointless, but because Gabriel is much better at positivity than I am.</p>
<p>He doesn't even think about it. He just does it. His smile almost never wavers, and when it does, things are bad - or else I've screwed up. I know I can make Gabriel stop smiling. I've done it a couple of times already. I'm determined not to do it again.</p>
<p>I love Gabriel's - <b>legs</b> are next, I guess? (I don't want to think too much about <i>that</i> part of his body, or even his ass. Part of why I'm making this list is because Gabriel's not here right now, after all, and thinking about <i>those</i> things isn't going to help.)</p>
<p>So. Legs. Um. He walks on them? I love to kiss his knee and then slowly work my way up while he starts squirming a bit, impatient but also patient, enjoying my making him wait and wishing I'd get on with things at the same time.</p>
<p>There. That wasn't so bad.</p>
<p>Even if I still wish he'd hurry up and come back already.</p>
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